Tuesday, April 19, 2016

{Grief Journal} Baby Steps


At the urging of my therapist, I am going to be better at sharing my grief journey. Technically, this isn't exactly what she asked me to do, but I'm a stubborn bitch, and this is my compromise. As time goes on maybe I'll be able to do more.

I have had a lifetime of dealing with grief, but I freely admit that the grief of losing my children is the hardest thing I have had to come to terms with to date. And as I said, I'm a stubborn bitch, so actually going through the steps that I need to go through to heal is exceptionally hard for me.

Today I had a baby step breakthrough. I deleted all of the groups (with the exception of the ones for adoptees such as I) that I joined because of my kids. So, all of the adoption groups, fostering groups, special needs parenting groups...all gone.

This may not seem like a big deal, but similar to how you may go to a parents house and find their lost child's bedroom exactly the same 20 years later, that's sort of been my way of "coping". Just leaving things as is to keep me connected to them.

In reality it just keeps shoving the loss in my face making the process even harder on myself.

I vlogged my feelings about it here: (PLEASE excuse my hot mess self. Didn't even pretend to prep for this video because I wanted to share my raw thoughts.)


As always, leave me some comment love. <3



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